if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
