They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
