Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize