dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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