After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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