Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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