There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
