Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
