I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
soo... how was my night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
