Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
