you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
