Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just threw up on my dentist
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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