Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
