never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
