He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
