If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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