We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
