you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
