You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
