I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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