i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize