Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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