Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just invented taco cereal.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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