I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
