I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
