Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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