so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
