So drunk its hurt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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