At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
