Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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