How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How's work?
Spinning.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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