I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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