I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
