Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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