I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
