Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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