So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
