Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
