windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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