beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize