He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
