you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
