Betty ford says i'm here all night
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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