I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
