I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
