Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
