I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
