i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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