Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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