I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
