At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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