dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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