8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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