I wanna bring you to show and tell
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
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