Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Pooping to opera.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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