I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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