I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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