she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There's always time for handjobs
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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