ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
