exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
